Since last posting a month ago so much has happened. I guess I start at the beginning... get a comfortable seat, this will take a while.

My second day back at Ingrid's after my Canada trip brought two phone calls for more riding work. As Ingrid is always encouraging me to check out new opportunities and expand my network, I agreed to try out these places.

The first opportunity was as a rider for Grand Prix rider and trainer Hermann Gösmeier. Who? Yeah, that's what I thought first too. The call came from his ex-wife, Ina Gösmeier, who is one Ingrid's vets. Amongst her amazing talents, Ina incorporates acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Veterinary Medicine into her practice, and travels to many shows, including the Olympics, to help top horses stay fit and feeling great. I have much respect for Ina and when she told me this could be a really great opportunity to sit on talented horses, I thought I should try it.

The first horse I tried there was an incredible 11 year old Grand Prix stallion. He was so nice and so easy, I swear a monkey could do the piaffe, passage, and one-tempis on him. It did take me a few tries on the one-tempis before I got a good diagonal with no mistakes. I happily took the help Hermann offered but did not mention that this was only the 3^rd time I had tried this particular movement.

The next horse was a very talented and cool 7 year old. He was a bit tricky in the contact and connection, but when you had him through it was such an incredible feeling. I was pretty much salivating after riding these two horses and wanting more, more, more. I was trying to play it cool but my head was screaming, WHEN CAN I START?!

The other opportunity was to ride one horse at Michael Klimke's barn. His wife is expecting their first child and they want her six year old Diamond Hit gelding to keep doing competition this year and were looking for a suitable rider. The horse is small, about 16 hands and quite fine, so Michael is way too big (I think he can almost touch his toes together under the belly), Ingrid had no time, another rider they like so much happens to be in another country... so why not try the Canadian? I was game to try it too.

Meanwhile, work at Ingrid's was going great and I was preparing for my first show in Germany. On the weekend of the 2^nd and 3^rd of May I took my Ike and Ingrid's Flipper to Havixbeck, a town just out of Münster. Saturday was Ike's class and he was so amazing at his first show ever. My goal was for him to have a great experience and I'm pretty sure he did.  He rode in the trailer like a champion and acted like he's been in show environments 20 times. The warm up ring with 15 other horses didn't upset him at all. The competition ring is called spooky by a lot of people but my little guy just acted like he's been in there every day. He was awesome.

I did not set the German dressage scene ablaze with my riding however. I rode, I hate to say it, like a North American. I rode a safe, accurate, horribly boring test. This is what we learn where I come from, this is what's rewarded where I come from. Here, in this particular class, they want to see go baby, go. They want to see impressive gaits and the potential for further development. Mistakes are forgiven; it is a young dressage horse class. I should know this, I have ridden these classes in the USA. However, not knowing how Ike would take the environment, I rode safe and am happy enough with how it went. We didn't place particularly well out of the 25 combinations in the class. But we didn't come last and no one was embarrassed. I think it was simply forgettable for everyone but me!

Sunday was Flipper's turn to be the show horse. I get to show Flipper because while he's perfect every day at home he gets so nervous at shows and just needs to do it over and over until he realises it's no big deal. It's not like he's crazy, but his nerves show up in the walk, and he gets upset in the trailer when other horses come and go. He came along Saturday to school and Ike is so cool I think it helped Flipper stay calm. Ike didn't whinny for Flipper when we they were separated, so Flipper quit calling for Ike pretty quickly. He was very nervous in the show ring when we schooled there Saturday, curling his neck and chewing the bits like it was life support. I might mention here that this was his first show in a double bridle.

Sunday morning Flipper already got nervous as I braided his mane at the stable. He's so smart, he knows this hairstyle means something different is coming. But he loaded and shipped super and stood in the trailer nicely until it was time to tack up (note that there are no stalls at most of these "small" shows, everyone shows out of their trailer or van).

After the nervous behaviour the day before I expected something different than the totally awesome and calm Flipper that walked into the warm-up ring. He stretched so nicely into the contact, making his neck & back long, soft and swinging during the warm up. His transitions were all smooth and easy, he was simply brilliant. In the competition ring he was also fantastic. The only mistakes were mine. I came with too much leg in the walk and got a jig step, I made the walk pirouette too big, my last transition from canter to trot was a bit too strong and he walked before trotting, things like this. But I was so happy with the test, the ride, and the horse. His back was soft and swinging the whole time, letting me really sit nice and quiet up there. We were "first reserve", which means just out of the ribbons. We tied for 12^th out of 27 rides. I was really, really pleased with the weekend overall.

On a personal note, it was very, very cool for me to have my brother Morgan and his wife Birgit come to the show on Saturday to support me. Moe is horribly allergic to horses and everything that goes along with them, so the fact that he doped himself up on all his good medicine and drove their asses out from Dortmund to the show so early on the weekend meant a lot to me. Also, Birgit gave me the most amazing gift, a beautiful, original stock-pin that she made herself. Words can not do this piece of jewellery justice, and I cried when I got it. She is a very gifted artist, and it's simply amazing.

So then, moving on.

Right after the show I started riding half-days at Hermann Gösmeier's (who, for the sake of less typing will be referred to as HG from now on) and was right away loving it. I get to ride 4-6 horses that are "M" or "S" level (3^rd - FEI level), there are grooms who make them ready and take them when I'm done. I don't clean anything, I don't get dirty except for sweating, I don't do anything but ride. Wow. I feel like there's some kind of mistake, but I'm not in a hurry to correct it! HG helps me when I need help and lets me ride and train when I'm doing it right.

Gösmeier is a name recognised in Germany but not so much in North America, where we only hear about the very top riders, and not what goes on behind the scenes. There is such depth to the talent in this country, there's no way we can understand it at home. While I'm still learning how it all works there, I'm pretty sold on the feeling of the horses. From what I can understand so far, HG finishes and sells horses. These are mostly not the horses that you or I can afford to buy. These are top horses, Team horses.  It's not a huge operation, but big enough that he needs a rider. I have ridden about 8 or 9 different horses, and some are not so easy but have very good potential, some are super easy with so much ability, and some are complicated but amazing. I have a favourite already, a little bit of a "special" horse with a trot and gallop like I've only felt on Damon Hill.

I also started riding Michael's horse. This has not been like a match made in heaven. The first ride was great, after Michael had warmed him up. But after this it got tough. The horse is very talented, but I'm not sure I'm the right rider. The canter work is okay, but the horse just throws out a change as soon as I get him straight, meaning he is not on my seat. Damn. So we work on that and it gets better. The trot is a whole other story. He has a normal trot and an amazing trot. But the amazing trot is not really easy for him and he needs a lot of help from the rider. My help just pisses him off. He gets tight in the neck and back, his tail gets going and he feels like a train in my hands. Damn damn damn.

After the first week I thought this is not going to work. The horse hates me, I hate riding like a retard, Michael is going to think I'm stupid and I suck, this is all depressing and no way to start your day (I ride the horse at 7:00 a.m.). I thought, okay, we give this one more week to see if it gets better. The next week on Tuesday or Wednesday I talked with Michael about this, and we said we'd just see how it goes. Then, sure enough, something started to click with the horse. The last two rides were pretty good, and Friday I thought that just maybe the horse started to like me. Maybe. Time will tell.

So my day is pretty full and busy and long, but it's good stuff. However, it's not really working for Ingrid. She needs me certain hours, HG wants me there certain hours, and there's conflict. After much discussion back and forth, trying but seeming to fail to find the right mix and match, it's time to make a very, very difficult decision. And that decision was to quit working for Ingrid.

Oh my god, yes, you read right.

I hate to even say it because I don't quite believe it happened. This was a harder decision for me than when I decided to pack up and move to Germany. Ingrid is the kind of person you can imagine yourself working for until you retire. You see yourself as a ‘lifer', part of the team and always, always wanting to stay longer and give more. I have never had a boss or a coach as awesome as her. She is a hero to me and hundreds or more likely thousands of other people, and she deserves to be called a hero, a champion, an idol, or whatever the thesaurus offers.  I cried a lot over this decision and after the decision was made. Simply writing about it still gets me pretty emotional, and it's taken me a while to tell people and to write this update for this reason.

I do believe it's the right decision for me, for my future, and for everyone involved. It is too hard for Ingrid and her schedule to need me when she needs me and for me to be committed somewhere else. For me, it's a chance to ride more, ride more advanced horses, and keep learning.

I still have Ike at the beautiful stable Schulze-Brüning, in the public boarding barn, and am expecting another horse at the end of June or early July to come for training with me there too. I want to keep horses there and get Ingrid's help with them when she has time. Her eyes and help are so important to me, and all the people on Ingrid's team as well as the others at the stable have become friends here and I do not want to lose these connections.

Friday, May 15^th was my last day with Ingrid. This weekend was strange, it has just felt like I had a few days off from Ingrid's and will be back at work next week. Today I had the day off from HG's and so after sleeping for about 15 hours I went and rode Ike. I had some time before I had to teach some lessons (oh yeah, I got some new clients at another stable just outside of town), so I went and helped a bit at Ingrid's, cleaning some tack and stuff. In my head and heart I am still part of her team.

So, this is a huge transition for me. I am very excited about the new opportunity at HG's but very sad to leave Ingrid. Every opportunity I have now going forward and have had in Germany is because of Ingrid. This year I have developed as a professional and it has been a tremendously important time for me personally also, and again this is mostly due to the environment and the people around me for the past 15 months. I have had the opportunity of a lifetime to learn from Ingrid, her coaches, and from all of her horses, young and old. To have her trust me to ride her horses has been a gift and responsibility I have never taken for granted, and something I have felt privileged for.  I know there have been times where I've frustrated her and yet she's been forgiving and patient with me when maybe I deserved a kick in the ass. She has encouraged me to expand my horizons and my network, and see what's out there. I suppose that's what I'm doing now.

On to the next chapter...