After the year end introspection it's time to get back to the good stuff. Horses, dressage, and whatever else strikes me as "good stuff."

SO! Last weekend in Frankfurt was the big Dressage and Jumping competition, which among many other wonderful classes hosts the Nürnberger Burg-Pokal - or, the young Prix St George horse finals. This is a very prestigious class, and when you look at the list of past winners, it's no coincidence you see a lot of these same combinations on The German Team a few years later. To get into the Nürnberger Burg-Pokal (I'll just call it the NBP from here on out) you have to win an NBP qualifier class. There are 14 qualifiers throughout Germany during the summer show season, and there are really good horses and riders fighting it out for one of these top spots.

After placing 3^rd in her first attempt in Lingen, a week later Ingrid and Damon Hill won the NBP qualifying class in Balve in June. I was able to take the afternoon off to cheer on the team, and it was so exciting to see them take the yellow ribbon (Americans, think Blue ribbon and Canadians, think Red ribbon. She won).  I told myself, Ingrid, and my visiting friend Susan that I wanted to watch the finals in December.

So now it's the December final and I spent three hours early last Saturday morning sleeping in the back of a car en route to Frankfurt. Ingrid called Friday after the warm up class to tell me about the test, talking about a few mistakes, some of the highlights, and her unscheduled jump-schooling the night before, and got me psyched up to get to the big show the next day.

We arrived at the huge indoor hall with about 30 minutes before the class started. Just enough time to watch some warm-up, find a starter list, find my great friend Richard, and then start getting nervous.

Ingrid was just past the middle of the pack of 12 entries. They put down a very good test. Not the best test I've seen from them, that would still be two weeks ago when they scored a deserved 77.92% in the PSG, but it was a very good test. The right canter pirouette has been Dami's weakness, and it showed up that day. Also an unexpected mistake in the normally solid three-time tempi changes cost a few points. Their efforts were enough to take the lead, which held all the way to the last rider. That rider just happened to be Isabell Werth. Shit! So, Isabell and her Westfalen gelding El Santo, by Ehrentush, won the NBP Final class. They had a great, fault-free test and I suppose it deserved the win. However, Ingrid won the special award for best rider. Take that Isabell :)

Later that evening there was a special "winner's freestyle" where the top three ride for the crowd. It's just for fun, with music selected for the rider, "celebrity judging" and a lot of fun it is. Isabell didn't ride in this, but Ingrid and the 3^rd and 4^th place finishers took the challenge. The first dancing pair, Oliver Oelrich and Davenport, had a lot of fun and scored a 9.6. Next in were Holga Finken and the scrumptious Donnerball. Holga really works the crowd, riding with one hand and waving at the audience, and they were cheering like mad for this pair, who scored a 9.8. Ingrid went in and was the ultimate professional, both hands on the reins, just riding like she always does, which is astonishingly. Even though she didn't "work" the crowd, they still went wild whenever Dami's extraordinary extended trot or canter took place. After her final halt-salute the applause was very loud, I think the loudest for the three combinations. However, I could be mistaken because this was when Carmen, Lara, Petra and I ran into the arena with three jumping rails. At "X", on the diagonal line, the four of us acted as standards to an approximately 3'6" oxer jump. The applause had died down a bit and there was a buzzing in the stands as people were speculating on what was going on. Once Ingrid picked up a canter and the people realized that she was going to jump this, the place went wild. It was deafening as she approached us. I could only look straight ahead at Carmen on the other side of the rail, as I think I would have peed myself if I watched Ingrid approach. With the roar of her fans and what seemed like a bazillion cameras flashing, Ingrid and Dami hopped over our fence and won that fun freestyle with a score of 10.

Some champagne later I was asleep once again in the back of the car all the way back to Münster.

Back in real life, I had some great help from Ingrid with my four year old project, Ike. He's been a bit of a shit since I've been back from my November trip. My leg gets no reaction, the spur gets a kick or buck then he bolts. The contact has been terrible, he pulls and twists and my shoulders are sore after about ten minutes of trot. This horse used to be rather easy, and while maybe a little complex in the contact, he always tried. I've been telling myself that every young horse (and old ones too) go two steps forward, one step back in the training; they can't be perfect every day so I just need patience and to keep trying. But after enough frustration I asked Ingrid to watch and help me. Over a couple of days she watched while we were jumping and doing dressage work, offering me advice. Finally she gave me the magic: "keep your hands down and go more forward." The two things that fix a lot of problems. Nothing new, nothing revolutionary, but this is why I (we all) need help! It's great to learn something new, but I think it's just as important to be reminded of the things you've managed to forget.  

Now I have been riding this horse with no spurs, instead with a whip. When I put my leg on and get ignored I remind him that I am actually the boss for this one hour each day of his life, and this is a really basic request. A little tap and off we go (quite fast sometimes!). After three days I barely need the whip but it's there when he forgets. Meanwhile, I remind myself every few strides ‘hands together, hands lower, pinkies touching.'(they don't actually touch, but it's the thought I need) Now I've got glorious gobs of white spit flying from his mouth because he's chewing the bit, and my shoulders don't get sore at all because he's not pulling since he's got nothing to pull on! We have a steady, solid contact and when he fusses I just pretend my hands are side-reins, leave them where they are and do nothing but use my leg more until he comes back into the soft contact. It's soooooo easy...               sometimes.

So the pursuit of dressage excellence goes on. One piece here, one piece there, and sometimes it starts to look like a picture.

Hope you had a great holiday with your family and/or friends. Wishing everyone a great New Year's celebration!
Cheers,

Eiren

The difference a year makes

After a really nice ride on a horse that has been giving me joy and frustration as only a four-year-old horse can, I was filled with feelings of contentment and satisfaction. As I hacked out around the fields and wandered through the woods on my way back to the stable I used the time to reflect on the past year of my life.

One year ago I was reeling from the break up of my long-term relationship. On top of this my training business was in a winter-slump where the majority of my clients had left for warmer climates and indoor arenas. A year of running my own business was educational to say the least, but despite the incredible financial support of my then-boyfriend, it was a money-loosing endeavor. It seemed that personal and professional failure struck at the same time.

However, not all things in life were terrible. As always, the most important thing you can have in your life are people who care about you. It seems I have an abundance of such good fortune. From near and far I had support of all kinds, and the difference it made in getting me through my little crisis can not be put to words. I've tried to thank those that helped me and I hope they still understand how much it has meant and still means to me.

That I ended up here in Munster, Germany at the stable of the famous Ingrid Klimke still amazes me daily.

When I came I was nursing a broken heart and still shocked that my love was in fact unrequited.  After the breakup I made the decision and the move to Germany pretty quickly and one person accused me of "running away." My thought was, ‘well yeah. Why not? Why should I sit around and feel awful when I can distract myself with the opportunity of a lifetime and be too busy to feel like shit.'

You can't just tell yourself that the last 5 years didn't matter, but I felt I did have a choice. One thing I could have done was sit around and mourn that loss - I read once that it takes half the time of the total time together to get over a partner. With this theory I had two and a half years of eating ice cream and feeling sorry for myself ahead of me. The other, more attractive option was that I could take this opportunity to change my life.

After one year, I am still pleased beyond belief at the way my life has turned out.

I am riding with and learning from one of the top riders and trainers in the world.

I am riding horses that are absolute top quality.

I am riding horses that are Olympic and World Champions.

I am riding.

I am learning to be a better rider and a better horseman.

I am getting paid for it!

I have made amazing new friends from both Europe and North America.

Old friendships have not faded but grown stronger and more meaningful.

I have a new apartment and the wonderful, exciting independence that goes with it.

I am car shopping.

I am learning a new language (though still not good at it!).

I am confident with what I want in my life, what I have, and with who I am.

I don't remember feeling such satisfaction in my professional life before. I am still learning and still feeling like an idiot sometimes, but horses have a way of making me hope I NEVER stop learning and feeling like an idiot, because this keeps life real and interesting. The skills I am developing daily will make me a more valuable professional, and I am excited to be able to give this education back in the clinics I am able to teach in Canada and the USA.

And personally, I am really, really happy. Not the giddy kind of happy that comes and then goes like a sugar rush. I feel the deep, fulfilled contentment that is just there, always a calm, reliable thing during the highs and lows of normal living. The freedom to be selfish is something I'm enjoying. Not worrying about anyone else lets me worry about me, and I can focus on my own goals, the large and small ones. There will come a time when I am ready to give so much of myself to another person again, but for now I'm very happy to let the world revolve around ME.

I have let go of the questions to why the relationship failed. I no longer ask myself, ‘if I had done _____..." or "I could have ___________ better" or "maybe if I'd been more ______..."  I no longer feel that the burden of the botched relationship is my responsibility. F*#K that. It takes two to make a relationship and we both failed it. Will I do things different next time? Absolutely. Will I still make mistakes? Surely! But I did the best I knew how, and there have been lessons learned.

The best thing is that because of the five years I spent with one person, a whole group of wonderful people are in my life. I am so fortunate to have the amazing relationships I have in my life. Some of my closest friends and dearest ‘family' have come into my life in the last half-decade. This is what was meant to be. All relationships change - some don't last, but the ones that matter do.

Tomorrow I will have Christmas dinner with people who were strangers to me one year ago. I am looking forward to a great evening with friends.

Every day you are one choice away from a new beginning.
Cheers,
Eiren

I'm back in Germany after the busiest holiday I've every had. Will write more later but just wanted to say what an amazing time had, starting with the fourth Young Dressage Horse Trainers Symposium at Hassler Dressage. Thanks Hasslers & Harmony for this amazing experience again. Besides the great training, it was so fantastic to connect with friends again and discuss important things like fashion. Look for the britchitard, coming soon...

All of the clinics were a lot of fun for me. Every rider gave 100% and it was great getting to know the horses. I can't wait to get back to each location.

It's good to be back though! I missed 'my' horses and am enjoying getting back to work. Also I'm excited about Ingrid and Damon Hill competing soon in the Nurnburger Burg Pokal (German finals for young Prix St George horses) in a few weeks. Last weekend Ingrid & 'Dami' competed in a PSG and won with a 77.92%. That is a HUGE score, from 3 judges. It was an incredible ride, and I'm so inspired to have seen it. I hope they get that same ride in Franfurt, keep your fingers crossed!

I'm off for now, more to come. It was SO GREAT to see all those I got to see, and I will try harder next time to see those I missed. Cheers to all,
Eiren